The Christmas Song

G (32003x)

[Verse]
G                D9
So many presents, so little time
G              E9
Santa won't be coming
      F9         D9
By my house this year
         G                 E9
'Cause I tried to drown my sister
      F9         D9
And I pierced my ear
   G            E9               F9
Oh mama made it perfectly clear
            D9             G    E9
Santa don't like bad boys
D9
    Especially Jewish ones

[Verse]
 G            E9
Gnip Gnop and LEGO blocks
    F9     D9
Are what I desire
    G               E9
So, why'd I have to set
                F9      D9
The pizza guy's hair on fire
  G              E9           F9
I told him I was sorry, I'm a liar
    D9              G    E9
So, no toys for me
D9
    I don't deserve 'em

[Bridge]
  Cmaj7
I couldn't wait for a big wheel
       D
As the holiday neared
    Em             D
But then I told my grandma
         C
That she had a beard

[Verse]
G                  E9
Rock 'em, Sock 'em robots
        F9           D9
Is what I was hopin' for
    G             E9
But then I made a death threat
        F9        D9
To Vice President Gore
   G              E9             F9
Oh Santa won't be knockin' on my door
              D9             G    E9
'Cause he's a big fat whore
D9
    What made me say that!?

[Bridge]
Cmaj7
Chutes and Ladders
            D
Would be so good indeed
   Em              D
So why'd I have to sell
           C
That cop a bag of weed
Cmaj7
So Santa please give me
   D
My Easy Bake Oven
  Em              D
I swear I thought Billy goats
     C
Were made for lovin'

[Verse]
   G
So Santa won't you
E9           F9   D9
Accept my apolo - gies
G               E9
Santa can't you see
    F9          D9
I'm beggin' you please
   G           E9
Oh Santa, next year
            F9
I'll do you right
              D9
Live from New York
              G
It's Saturday Night