The Houseplants Song

Standard Tuning

 Em                     G
Once I read a book and this is what it said
           A             Em
"If your music has a beat the you're gunna wind up dead"
    Em                            G
It doesn't really matter if it's Christian or not
         A                          Em
If it's syncapted rhythm then your soul is gunna rot
A                       Em
And this book was called "HA You're gunna burn"
A                        Em
And in the second chapter I went on to learn

Em       G               A             Em
Take two houseplants and put em to the test
        Em               G                    A            Em
Set em both in front of speakers and let the music do the rest
    Em                 G                    A          Em
The first on you play mozart or something lovely like that
    Em                       G              A          Em
The second one you play that Petra and that MegaDeth
                                               Em
Doesn't really matter what kind of rock it is

      Em          G                     A           Em
So I took my two houseplants and i put them to the test
        Em              G                    A             Em
Set em both in front of speakers and let the music do the rest
  Em             G            A             Em
I powered up my Pioneers and let the music roar
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but twenty minutes later someones knocking at my door

*Knock on the body of your guitar*

Em                   G
  I opened up my door and there my neighbor stood
         A                              Em
He said "man I'd like to get some sleep if you think could"
        Em           G
I said "man cant you see here
            A                         Em
I have the moral dilema that i have gotta get clear"
             Em                                        G
And he said "what kind of moral dilema could you have this time of night
           A                        Em
That could make me so angry that I just wanna fight

*load crash* "sorry"
                         Em
So i pointed to the page in that open book
             A                         Em
That had a picture of a potted plant and I said go have a look

And he read

Em       G               A             Em
Take two houseplants and put em to the test
        Em               G                    A            Em
Set em both in front of speakers and let the music do the rest
    Em                 G                    A          Em
The first on you play mozart or something lovely like that
    Em                       G              A          Em
The second one you play that Petra and that MegaDeth

Doesn't really matter what kind of rock it is

Solo
I can't remember I'll add it soon, check back

Em                          G
  First of all he said that Vogner that you're playin
      A                              Em
I've never heard of Petra and isn't MegaDeth all dead
Em           G            A                   Em
secondly emphatically he asked me what's the sense
    Em                G                   A                        Em
of hanging out with house plants when hey I live right across the fence

And i thought to myself you know that's a good point

      Em          G                A                   Em
So i took my two houseplants and i put em both back outside
    Em         G               A               Em
And me and my neighbor well we went out for a drive
    Em          G                     A            Em
We talked about all the things that really matt er most
      Em                G             A             Em   Em G A Em
Like life and love and happiness and then the holy Ghost

Em          G                A              Em
Now my two houseplants both sit out in the sun
    Em         G                 A                Em
and As for my neighbor well our friendship has become
   Em           G                 A                  Em
a meaningful relationship that's headed straight to heaven
    Em                     G                        A
BUT AS FOR NOW we like to sit around and listen to Audio Adrenaline

   Em
CRANKED! To eleven  Em Em Em Em Em Em Em Em