Send This To Your Crush Without Any Context

A D A D


A
  I remember when I first met you
D
  Your hair was so sweet and soft
A                         E
  I just wanted to cut it off and take it home with me
A                              D
  We had a playdate at the playground with our friend Tim
A                                      E
  But he got in the nice mans van when  candy was offered to him


F#m                                  D
  And he left with the two of us together
A                         E
  Sexual tensions were so high

Wait, nevermind this was us as children
F#m
  And now that I think of it
                  D
singing about childhood love as an adult is kind of pedophilic
   A
so I'm just going to have to jump ahead a couple years
E
  Ohh


A                               D
  Do you remember when we first kissed?
A
  I was so nervous
              E
that I nearly missed.. that was a Nickleback refrence
A
  And do you remember the time
                            D
Your mom got her hair stuck in the garbage disposal
                           A
While washing dishes so we had no other choice
                                       E
But to scalp her with fisher price scissors


F#m
  And the time you left the stove on
        D
and the cat lit itself on fire
        A                                             E
and its smoldering corpse burned down the rest of the house
F#m                          D
  And to cheer you up I went to the store
                      A
And I bought you some socks
                          E
Then you told me you were cheating on me


A
  So I tried to do the science
            D
to find out why you would do this to me
          A
And all I got was evidence
                             E
that the US moon landing was fake
                  A
I suppose there's things more important
                                   D
like why are so many schools being shot up in America
                   A
like seriously and I'm worried about a girl
                          E
so I should probably just stop