Slim Chance And The Cant Hardly Playboys

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[Verse 1]

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Slim Chance and the Can't Hardly Playboys are pickin' at your local saloon
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They got a new song out on Polish Records, it'll be a Polish hit real soon
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They picked every honky-tonk and bar from here to Timbuktu
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Slim Chance and the Can't Hardly Playboys are bustin' their butts for you

[Verse 2]

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Out where the cars are up on blocks and the houses are on wheels
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Slim and a big time bookin' agent, they cooked up a hell of a deal
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They'd pick every Wal-Mart parkin' lot across the USA
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If the Good Lord's willin' and the creek don't rise and they figure out how to get paid

[Verse 3]

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No Chance was the only chance the Playboys ever had
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No matter how they picked 'em, everything they played was bad
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Then Slim come along and he played the songs that stick right in your head
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Slim Chance and the Can't Hardly Playboys are really a-knockin' 'em dead

[Instrumental]

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[Verse 4]

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Esmeralda Muckinfuch was Slim's good timin' gal
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She wasn't much to look at but Slim loved her anyhow
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You couldn't beat her when she's sober, but you had to when she's drunk
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We all called her the Country Kitty, 'cause she smelled just like a what in the world was that?

[Verse 5]

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Slim Chance could be anyone who hangs out in a bar
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Or any local yokel who sings and plays guitar
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All the boys and girls around the world now they know who they are
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Slim Chance is about the best chance that they got to be a star

[Verse 6]

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Yesterday I couldn't even spell star, and now I are one
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I say I ain't but a star I are
                                     A
Do they not know who we think we are?
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I'm tellin' ya we're gonna get 500 a gig or we ain't playin!
D
I think we need some of them whores dejours
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And some of them carrots and other things people get in back of the stage
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We need some of them little sausages on toothpicks, maybe a dressing room (that'd be good)