Congratulations John On Joining Every Time I Die

Intro: C

C
Congratulations! Go stretch your ears and get a neck tattoo.

Am
Congratulations! All of our friends knew there was no better choice than you.

Dm          G
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

C
Congratulations! Are you gonna move up north and throw away your Yankees hat?

Am
Congratulations! Are you gonna swear off ska and stop gelling your hair back?

Dm          G
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

C                   G
Nice going asshole. Nice going asshole.

C                   G#
Nice going asshole. Nice going asshole.

Dm              G                   C               G
You finally did something right and I'm two percent bummed it wasn't me.

Interlude: C G C    C G C    C G C  Fm

C
I hope you know that Christine's gonna ask you to get into all your shows for free

Am
And I will smile while silently resenting you for quitting Bomb the Music Industry.

Dm          G
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

Am                                     G
Now Dave has another friend who's in a more successful band.

Am                               F                      G
Jenna's got another contact and another drummer to make out with again! w00t!

C                   G
Nice going asshole. Nice going asshole.

C                   G#
Nice going asshole. Nice going asshole.

Dm              G                   C               Am
You finally did something right and you'll probably meet Dave Grohl.

Dm                G
And tell us about him when you get home.

C                   G                        Am              F
Then you'll get the news from me that you'll never quit this band.

C                           G                           Am
And we're taking you out on tour for those two months a year that you're

F
home because we can.

C                                   G                  Am
And sure it's out of spite not to replace you, but you promised and we shook

F
hands.

C                       G                             Am
So remember when you're back in Long Island, you will forever be forced to

     F
be a part of a ska band.

N.C.
One, two, three, one, two, three! Pick it up! One, two, three!

C                   G
Nice going asshole. Nice going asshole.

C                   G#
Nice going asshole. Nice going asshole.

Dm              G                  C                   Am
You finally did something right, I guess state college did pay off!

Dm              G               C               Am
We're all music majors too, can you make Ferret give us jobs

Dm                  G              C
or at least tell Ferret to sign my band?

Interlude: C G C    C G C   C G C

Fm
Diiiiiii...ck.