Side Projects Are Never Successful

G5 C5 G5 C5


[Verse]
  G5
(It was a hot June day, and my ass was sticking to the seat of my girlfriend's car)
C
Staten Island traffic in the summer, summer!
G
Staten Island traffic in the summer, baby
C
Staten Island traffic in the summer, summer!
G
Staten Island traffic in the summer, baby
C
Staten Island traffic in the summer, summer!
G
Staten Island traffic in the summer, baby
C
Staten Island traffic in the summer, summer!


[Verse]
             G
And when you stuff yourself into a suit and tie
                 C
do you think the judge can see through the sweat as he gives you your fine
      G
for a post-panic attack speeding ticket on a
C
90 degree day in New York.
    G
And yeah, you're gonna drive home for three hours to work in a
C
basement for tribute bands making posters
   G
to pay about a fifth of that price.
          C
It's just Staten Island traffic in the summer. Oh!


[Pre-Chorus]
Em             C
   That orange ball. (HEY HEY HEY)
     Em                                C
That burning orb of fire in the sky is gonna explode and we're all gonna die!
G                                                     D                               B
Except for the foolish few who will "think ahead" and drive their SUV's to their bomb shelters
Em             C                         Em                          C
Complain about air conditioning because "baby, we ain't got no more electricity."
C
They wanna rise when it's done, be a leader with a gun.
A7
Be a leader of what? Like a hundred and one?
    Em                                                   C
Well, fuck it, I'm gonna hang out on the rooftop when it comes.


[Chorus]
                  D             C
'Cause when it's dark, it'll be night time, baby.
    G                     C
And I'll get my ass on up out of this mess.
    D                    C
The only stores that are open, baby.
     G
They gonna sell beer, and they're gonna sell ice cream.
          D                         C
And we'll drink drink drink and get drunk drunk drunk
          G                        Em
and we'll talk talk talk about how much much much
F                    Am
how much fun we had, yeah, when
        G
we were fuckin' the world, oh we're fucking the world, yeah!


[Verse]
            G                                   C
Through the glares on our windshields, we can't see each others eyes,
       G                                      C
just McDonalds cups and wrappers that they're throwing at full speed.
    G                                    C
And yes, I long for a shadow. And yes, I always appreciate the irony
         G                                            C
that the only cool comfort that allows us to see is a goddamn billboard. Sing it with me.
G                                                            C
A billboard (billboard) is the only thing preventing us from blindly crashing
G                                                            C
A billboard (billboard) is the only thing preventing us from blindly crashing
          G
And we'll never see a city not marred by advertisements,
          C
and we'll NEVER have a future not working for those companies,
         G
and it's sure as shit not getting better
      Am
so we might as well accept it now, oh.
Em                      C
And that really doesn't cheapen anything
         Em                         C
because, baby, we're all born to be businessmen.
G
Every Fugazi record has a catalog number and a price tag
D                                                          D#dim
and every independent label is selling you another goddamn product.
Em                              C
But, NO, WE'D  not slaves to the music.
       Em                          C
Oh no, WE'D  not slaves to the company, baby.
C
We do what we're born and raised to do
                A7
and when you're creating something, you're producing something
         D                                    C
and the act of producing is the creation of a product.


[Verse]
D                               C
'Cause when it's dark, it'll be night time, baby.
    G                     C
And I'll get my ass on up out of this mess.
    D                     C
The only stores that are open, baby.
     G
They gonna sell beer, and they're gonna sell ice cream.
          D                         C
And we'll drink drink drink and get drunk drunk drunk
          G                        Em
and we'll talk talk talk about how much much much
F                    Am
how much fun we had, yeah, when
G                                   C
we were fuckin' the world, oh we're fucking the world, yeah!
              Em                F
Yeah, we were fu fu cking cking the the world.
         C
When the sun drops, you ain't gonna be hungover the next day.
         C/B
When the comet hits, you ain't gonna have no bills to pay.
         C/Bb
When the bomb hits, it's gonna be a four day weekend. Hey hey!
          Am                      G
When it's all done I'm gonna feel great
      Em     G    Am
...finally.



[Outro]
           G                            C
And when I finally got to work today, I ate my Subway sandwich,
      G                               C
and I drank my Coca-Cola Classic, and then I ate my Sunchips
      G                                  C
and I thought about the weekend when I'd fill up my Ford van
     G                   C
with Mobil brand gas and drive to the Clear Channel venue and
    G                            C
I'd drink myself a Budweiser and play my Fender guitar
           G                    C
through my Fender amplifier and tell the kids with a straight face
          G                    C                 G                     C
through a Shure microphone and JBL speakers that corporate rock is for suckers.