Went to bed a little girl And woke up a grown-ass woman Paid someone to tell me why There are things I shouldn't Shouldn't do to get the ones I love To do exactly what I want Turns out that ain't love at all I, I, I Missed a call again from Mom But I'll call her back tomorrow I don't wanna hear her voice At the risk of what would follow I'll feel bad for feeling far I'll feel far from feeling me Then I won't know who to be I, I, I And now I'm screaming in the air at the top of my lungs I'm having fun, I'm having fun, I'm having fun I'm wiping my tears on an old sweatshirt I know it hurts, oh I know it hurts I'll try to explain it again, oh it feels like I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I Now I'm sitting in my room And I count the things around me That I bought to fill the void And to make something about me 'Cause I gave my time away But I'm the one I really hate For never giving myself comfort in the first place And now I'm screaming in the air at the top of my lungs I'm having fun, I'm having fun, I'm having fun I'm wiping my tears on an old sweatshirt I know it hurts, oh I know it hurts I'll try to explain it again, oh it feels like Biting my hair, driving too fast Buying that shirt, sending it back God I'm so bored, life is so dumb Why can't it always be what I want? The less that I lie the more that I see The problem at hand is probably me I'm running in place, going downhill Not having fun but maybe I will Not having fun, maybe I will Not having fun, maybe I will Not having fun, maybe I will Not having fun, maybe I will