Deep Down Im Really Mark Smith

F#m                       A
Some lines, oh, why did I write
                 D               F#m
I have to repeat them night after night
F#m                       A
Some lines, oh, why did I write
                 D               F#m
I have to repeat them night after night

[Verse 1]

F#m                              A
Yes you can tell me I control my life
            D               F#m
But I feel humbled and I feel obliged
F#m                       A
I miss not caring if what I make is good
                 D               F#m
And I miss the unproductive bullshit I love
F#m                       A
And I miss my friends even more
                      D               F#m
Because I'm scared we aren’t friends anymore


[Bridge]

            F#m      A        G
Congrats to me for coming so far
    F#m           A             D
Me rushing round Britain with a guitar
       F#m   A     G
Making love to myself
   F#m           A             D
How could I call it anything else?
   F#m        A             G
I ruminate on the cognitive space
      F#m           A            D
Where all contemplation is going to waste
     F#m          A         G
Revolve through a cycle, a figure of eight
  F#m          A           D
I think about thinking about me
  F#m       A          G
I know I am trying too hard
        F#m     A          D
Always publicly trying too hard
             F#m   A   G
I want to be cool and effortless
          F#m     A              D
But every little thing is so much effort
  F#m        A        G
I wonder what you think
          F#m     A
The royal you
        F#m     A
The chosen few
  F#m          A           D
I wonder how I cause these stinks
   F#m        A        G
To act natural is to be vulnerable

[Verse 2]

       F#m
And so what’s the real goal?
      F#m
Is it just to be worshipped?
     A
As a way to like myself
        A
Well I won’t think I deserve it
       D
What I posit as a cure
           D
It becomes evidence thereof
      F#m
Of my fakery and flaws
           F#m
And as the layers are torn off
       A
And I return to my own space
    A
With time alone inside my head
           D
I’m still faced with who I am
           D
And all I keep unsaid

[Chorus 1]

    F#m
So, what are you gonna do
              F#m
What are you trying to do
               D
What are your goals
             A
Are you goal oriented?
F#m
What are you gonna do
F#m
What are you trying to do
              D
What are your goals
             A
Are you goal oriented?

[Verse 3]

F#m
So what’s the real goal
F#m
With any influence comes cowardess
D
The power projected on me
A
In the end makes me feel powerless
F#m
I’m paranoid, and yet perpetually interacting
D                           A
With realms to build persona despite how it’s impacting
F#m
My ego and my friendships and my mental health
D                       A
I hope I can transcend, but it’s my whole sense of self
F#m                                  A
So what the real goal, is it to touch people with experiences
D
Which I’ve weaved into fiction
F#m                        A
To share my thoughts and beliefs
           D
Of which I hold no real conviction
            F#m         A                 D
Become constructive contradiction so that you can learn from me
            F#m           A           D
From the safety of these pedestals I built from fallacies

[Chorus 2]

F#m
I know I’m the fickle fucker
                 A       D
I know I am the selfish lover
F#m
I know I am sad and undeserving
           A                  D
I know am privileged and I am also hurting
       F#m
I know I’m the fickle fucker
       A       D
I know I am the selfish lover
            F#m
I know I am sad and undeserving
           A               D
I know am privileged and I am also hurting
F#m
I keep being told the importance of self love
A                         D
Some days I think I don’t hate myself enough
F#m
I keep being told the importance of self love
A                         D
Some days I think I don’t hate myself enough
F#m
I keep being told the importance of self love
A                         D
Some days I think I don’t hate myself enough
F#m
I keep being told the importance of self love
A                         D
Some days I think I don’t hate myself enough

[Outro]

         F#m                          A
And if you relate does that make you bad?
          F#m                               D
And for making you relate does that make me bad?
     F#m                          A
And do I glorify what it is to be sad?
      F#m            D
Should you just turn off?