Titties And Beer

           Bm        Am
It was the blackest night!
             E       Am
There was no moon in sight!
              Bm          Am
(you know the stars ain't shinin'
           E         Am
'cause the sky's too tight)
            Bm    Am
I heard the scary wind!
            E    Am
I seen some ugly trees!
            Bm       Am
There was a werewolf honkin',
          E       Am
'long the side of me!
Bm          Am                 E        Am
I'm mean 'n I'm bad, (y'know I ain't no sissy)
Bm              Am           E        Am
Got a big-titty girly by the name of 'chrissy'
Bm            Am        E       Am
Talkin' about her 'n my bike 'n me...
Bm                  Am          E  Am      E  Am
'n this ride up the mountain of my-stery, (my-stery)

(Bm,Am,E,Am X2)

          Bm       Am
I noticed even the crickets
      E        Am
Acted weird up here
       Bm        Am
And so I figured I might
             E      Am
Just drink a little beer
        Bm          Am            E       Am
I said, gimme summa that what yer suckin' on...
              Bm Am
But there was no reply
       E       Am
'cause she was gone!
Bm            Am        E       Am
where's those titties I like so well,
       Bm     Am
'n' my goddam beer!
          E          Am           Bm         Am
Is what I started to yell, then I heard this noise
       E         Am       Bm            Am
Like a crunchin' twig, 'n up jumped the devil!
      E          Am
(he's about this big!)
         Bm       Am
He had a red suit on
      E       Am
An' a widow's peak
           Bm      Am
An' then a pointed tail
          E       Am
'n like a sulphur reek,
            Bm  Am
Yes, it was him awright,
          E         Am
I swear I knowed it was!
            Bm    Am
He had some human flesh
            E         Am
Stuck under-neath his claws
             Bm        Am
You know, it looked to me
            E     Am
Like it was titty skin!
            Bm       Am
I said, you son-of-a-bitch!
              E      Am
('cause I was mad at him!)
            Bm      Am
He just got out his floss
           E            Am
'n started cleanin' his fang
     Bm               Am
So I shot him with my shooter,
      Bm    Am    Fm
Said: bang! bang! bang!


((((Just downward strokes on this part))))

        Bm          Am               E      Fm
Then the sucker just laughed 'n said: put it away!
            Bm          Am
You know, I ate her all up...now what you
E     Fm
Gonna say?
    Bm     Am
You ate my chrissy?
      E          Fm
yeah! titties 'n all!
          Bm        Am
Well what about the beer then?
     E                  Fm
now, were the cans this tall?
Bm       Am
Even her boots?
        E      Fm
would I lie to you?
          Bm         Fm
Shit, you musta been hungry!
      E       Fm
yeah, this is true.
           Bm      Am
Don't they pay you good for the
E          Fm
Stuff that you do?
                Bm          Am             E           Fm
well, you know, I can't com-plain when the checks come through...
     Bm        Am
Well I want my chrissy,
Oh yeah?
   E         Fm
'n I want my beer
Hah!
            Bm           Am
So you just barf it back up!
            E      Fm
Now, devil, do you hear?
Bm               Am         E     Fm
blow it out your ass, motor-cycle man!
        Bm       Am            E     Fm
I mean, I am the devil, do you under-stand?
     Bm            Am
Just what will you give me for your
E           Fm
Titties and beer?
              Bm           Am
I suppose you noticed this little
E        Fm
Contract here...
    Bm     Am         E        Fm
Yer goddam right, you son-of-a-whore!
Don't call me that!
       Bm             Am
That's about the only reason
          E       Fm
I learned writin' for!
Bm         Am             E          Fm
Gimme that paper! bet yer horns I'll sign!
        Bm       Am            E
Because I need a beer, 'n it's titty-
          Fm
Squeezin' time!
         Bm         Am      E          Fm
man, you can't fool me! you ain't that bad!
Oh yeah?
        Bm      Am               E               Fm
Why you shoulda seen some of the souls that I've had!
          Bm      Am       E     Fm
There was milhous nixon 'n agnew too!
           Bm    Am          E        Fm
'n both of those suckers was worse 'n you!
Bm           Am          E
Let's make a deal if you think
       Fm
That's true
               Bm                 Am         E
I mean, you're supposed to be the devil so...whatcha
      Fm
Gonna do?
Heh?
           Bm              Am                      E        Fm
wait a minute...a tinge of doubt crosses my mind...when you say...
         Bm                       Am
That you want to make a deal with me...
E                     Fm
that's very, very true
    Bm        Am        E   Fm
I'm only inte-rested in two things
yeah?
Bm         Am        E         Fm
See if you can guess what they are
Bm           Am      E          Fm
i would think...uh...let's see, maybe stravinsky...
Bm                Am     E         Fm
i'll give you two clues. let go of your pickle
Bm
what?
Am        E           Fm
let go of your pickle!
Bm                 Am
i'm not holding my pickle
E                Fm              Bm
well, who's hold-ing your pickle then?
Am           E       Fm                 Bm
i don't know...she's out in the audience...
Am                  E                        Fm
Hey dale, would you like to come up here and hold
   Bm                     Am                   E     Fm
My pickle to satisfy this weird man out on the stage?
Bm                     Am              E
i'm only interested in two things, and that's
Fm
Titties and beer
Bm                   Am
You know what I mean?
E      Fm
what?

((((Increase speed here))))

Bm          Am
Titties and beer
E           Fm
Titties and beer
Bm          Am
Titties and beer
E           Fm
Titties and beer
Bm          Am
Titties and beer
E           Fm
Titties and beer
Bm
Titties and beer!
Am
Titties and beer!
E
Titties and beer!
Fm
Titties and beer!
Bm        Am       E               Fm
no! don't sign it! give me time to think...
       Bm        Am                        E     Fm
I mean hold on a second boy, 'cause that's magic ink!

((((Up and down strokes again from now on))))
             Bm                  Am
And then the devil let go of his pickle
E               Am                  Bm
And out come my girl, there was her titties
Am
Flop-floppin'...all around the world
         Bm             Am          E          Am
She said i got me three beers and a fistful of downs
        Bm        Am         E         Am
And I'm gonna get ripped, so fuck, you clowns!
         Bm          Am             E         Am
Then she gave us the finger, it was rigid and stiff
                Bm        Am
That's when the devil, he farted
             E              Am
And she went right over the cliff!
    Bm        Am          E         Am
The devil was mad, I took off to my pad
        Bm      Am
I swear I do de-clare!
            E        Am
How did she get back there?