Only Solitaire

G                               D              G
Brain-storming habit-forming battle-warning weary
                                             D
winsome actor spewing spineless chilling lines
                                 D
the critics falling over to tell themselves he's
G                                       D
 boring and really not an awful lot of fun.
       C                               D
Well who the hell can he be when he's never had V.D.,
G                                  A
and he doesn't even sit on toilet seats?

   Court-jesting, never-resting
       D
    he must be very cunning
                 G
to assume an air of dignity
      B       E          A             B
and bless us all with his oratory prowess,
        E            A            E              B
his lame-brained antics and his jumping in the air.
        E            A
And every night his act's the same
       E            C                      Am
and so it must be all a game of chess he's playing
``But you're wrong, Steve: you see, it's only solitaire.''