Vasectomy Song

F     Bb    C     F

[Verse]
     F                      Bb
It's just a modern world we live in,
    F                   C
but why do they pick on me
    F
Why just the other week
   Bb              F
my missus had the cheek
    G                        C
to talk me into a va-sec-tom-y
   F                            Bb             F
At first it never clicked  that I was gettin' nicked,
F                               C
I thought it was to test virility
     F
Than after I went through it,
     Bb              F
ten days we couldn't do it
     G                      C
and then the doctor said to me

(I couldn't believe it folks - He said)


[Chorus]
       F                          Bb
please blow into this bag, please sir (What?)
    F                 C
to test your capability    (I beg your pardon?)
      F                    Bb
we're cutting down on accidents  (I said are you fair dinkum  He said )
       F              C             F
please blow into this bag and we'll see


[Spoken]
F
Well - I couldn't believe it at first but you know what they say about doctors orders.
F
So he gave me the little bag and ushered me into the little room with all the pin-ups.
F
Grubby little room it was, too, and I came back with my little bag
F
And the doctor was quite satisfied, and so was I


[Verse]
     F                       Bb
It's just a modern world we live in,
        F                        C
there's new fangled things every day
    F
The cop said I was speedin',
  Bb              F
accordin' to his readin'
      G                      C
But I was three kilometres away
      F                        Bb              F
I was feelin' pretty mad  when he took out his pad,
  F                                C
I tried to stay as calm as I could be
    F                      Bb               F
He found a baldy tread, he saw my eyes were red
    G                                  C
And then he said this strange thing to me  (I said what again? He said )


[Chorus]
       F                          Bb
please blow into this bag, please sir (I said hang on)
    F                 C
to test your capability       (What?)
      F                    Bb
we're cutting down on accidents  (I said are you fair dinkum? He said )
       F              C             F
please blow into this bag and we'll see


[Spoken]
F
Well this time I really was shaken up, the cop could see I was a bit excited
F
He said well you better take a good grip on yourself son.
F
So I went around behind a big gum tree and came back with my little bag.
F
Well you can imagine what happened


{Verse}
F                            Bb
It's just a modern world we live in,
     F                   C
I'm feelin' very sad and pale
    F                          Bb             F
The judge said I was sick and threw me in the nick
    G                                C
And missus said she wouldn't pay the bail
   F                        Bb
So take it from a fool like me,
     F                   C
beware of quacks and boys in blue
    F                          Bb               F
I'm feelin' pretty bruised so don't you get confused
    G                       C
I'd catch a train if I was you-ou   (All together now )


[Outro]
       F                          Bb
please blow into this bag, please sir
        F                        C
Ahh, It sends a shiver down my spine
       F                          Bb
Please blow into this bag, please sir
       F            C                Bb       F
If the women don't get you, it's the wine