Christmas Song

A
Hey Santa Claus you c***! Where's me fucking bike?
E                                                             A
I've unwrapped all this other junk, and there's nothing that I like.
A                                  D
I wrote you a fucking letter, and I come to see you twice.
A                          E                      A
Ya worn out geriatric fart, you forgot me fucking bike.
A
If I wanted a pair of bloody thongs, I'd have bloody asked.
A                                              E
And this cowboy suit and ping pong set, you can shove right up your arse!
A
You've stuffed me bloody order up.
D
It's enough to make you spew.
A
And I'm not the only one who's snakey,
E                A
Me sisters dirty too!


(LITTLE GIRL'S VOICE)

A
Hey Santa Claus you c***! Where's me fucking pram?
E                                                      A
You promised me you'd bring me one, you remember who I am?
A                                       D
Cause I'm the little girl, who you made sit right on your hand.
A
I'll give you fucking ho ho ho,
E                     A
You forgot me fucking pram.


(LITTLE BOY'S VOICE)

A
Next time I come to see ya, I'm gonna punch you in the guts.
E                                                            A
And I'll let your fucking reindeer go, and kick Rudolf in the nuts!
A                                   D
You just wait 'till next year, when you go to that store.
A
And me and me little sister,
E                         A
Come stomping through the door.

(NC- SPOKEN)
And we'll say, yeah you wait for it

A
Hey mums and dads you smell his breath, and check his bloodshot eyes.
E                                                              A
And don't listen to him boys and girls, 'cause he tells fucking lies.
A                                            D
He's just a piss tank and a pervert, and he's not even very bright.
A
Cause the old fucking wanker,
E                 A
Forgot me fucking bike.