Orgy For One

D G A D
G D A D
Bm G A D
G Bm A D
G Bm A D
(Spoken): Ninja Brian, I invited a large number of girls over here foran orgy tonight, but I 
have to say the
responses thus far haven't been exactly what I hoped for...

[Verse 1]
G                A     D
Stacey had a headache, Jenny was in jail,
Bm                 A          D
Brenda had to work late, Kate was getting Jenny's bail.
G              A   D
Angela got scurvy, Ashley caught a cold,
A
Sally's dad exploded (that's what I was told...)

  G                      A     D
Michelle had to play checkers, Ann was bakin' pies,
Bm               A        D
Wendy's dad exploded too (that might've been a lie).
G                  A     D
Pam had Frisbee™ lessons, Stella had ballet,
A
now I'm by myself but I can have fun anyway, so...

[Pre-Chorus 1]
G             A/G        Gmaj7           A
Dim (dim) the lights. Remove (remove) my tights (YEAH!)

[Chorus 1]
D      G               A          D
Nobody showed, but I'm gonna have some fun,
G                 D                A           D  A
Let's get this party started: it's an orgy for one!
     Bm        G             A               D
It's me and my hand and it's hotter that the sun,
   G             Bm            A           D
So break out the tissues: it's an orgy for one!
    G           Bm           A           D
I'm working out my issues in an orgy for one!

[Verse 2]
G                     A      D
Margaret's cat was nauseous, Jean was way too shy,
Bm                A     D
Steve was not invited because he was a guy.
G                 A            D
Claire was parasailing, Brooke said she was in space,
A
but it doesn't matter 'cuz I'm rounding second base, so...

[Pre-Chorus 2]
G                      A/G      Gmaj7               A
Through (through) the night, my grasp (my grasp) is tight (OH!)

[Chorus 2]
D          G          A             D
Beatin' so hard you'd think I was a drum,
G            D          A           D  A
I don't even care, it's an orgy for one!
    Bm       G             A          D
I'm here all alone and I'm tugging on my plums
     G           Bm              A           D
It's not just masturbation, it's an orgy for one
       G         Bm              A           D
It's a fucking celebration: it's an orgy for one!

Bb    Cadd2      D
Or--- gy---- for one-----
Bb    Cadd2      A
Or--- gy---- for one-----

[Guitar Solo]
D G A D
G D A D
Bm G A D
G Bm A D
G Bm A D

[Pre-Chorus 3]
G            A/G                 Gmaj7               A/G
Six (six) -tynine (-tynine), without (without) the 'nine' (the 'nine')
G               A/G                  Gmaj7                 A
Pour (pour) the wine (the wine). I'm mine (I'm mine), all mine!

[Chorus 3]
    D         G            A          D
I'm batting a thousand and nailing everyone,
G            D         A             D  A
Thank you everybody at this orgy for one!
      Bm          G               A              D
These pillows are stacked to look vaguely like a butt
    G          Bm               A           D
You know I'm goin' for it: it's an orgy for one!
   G          Bm                A           D
My junk is getting sore and it's an orgy for one!
    G              Bm                A
You know that I'll be scoring at the orgy... for

Bb    Cadd2      D
One (Or--- gy---- for one-----)
Bb    Cadd2      D
Or--- gy---- for one-----