Samurai Abstinence Patrol

Cm Gm D# Bb
A      Cm
In the tall skyscrapers of ancient Japan
      Gm
Lived two great warriors, a dude and a man
    D#
Who proclaimed no sex until you are married
          Bb
They were Arin Neverbone and Samurai Barry
 Cm
500 years later, two heroes were born
    Gm
One clothed in blue spandex, the other in scorn
     D#
They were Ninja Sex Party, they had but one quest:
   Bb
To bring sex to the masses, 'cuz that shit is the best
     Cm
In a super-hot orgy with ten girls and a mime
      Gm
Danny thrusted so hard he ripped a hole in space-time
     D#
Each hump could be seen in the ancient night sky
        Bb
Graphic shots of Dan's nuts were in healthy supply
Cm
Arin and Barry knew they had to act fast
     Gm
They jumped through to the future 'cuz they were dicks from the past
     D#
They landed two feet from where NSP was rocking
              Bb
And screamed "Danny, it's your cock that we now will be blocking!

[Chorus 1]
     D#  Cm     Gm
Samurai Abstinence Patrol
        F              Bb            D#
To control all our junk is their one true goal
                      C        Gm
It's a battle for boners and rock and roll
      F             Cm            D
Ninja Brian will stab them in the soul (And the face!)
               D#        F       Gm
What could this mean for Ninja Sex Party?
         F                 Bb            D#
Will our heroes be stopped from their boning spree?
                   C                     Gm
And will Danny get first place in his spelling bee?
    F            Cm         D
The championship word is "nomenclature!"
N.C
Uh... N... O... C
Gm
(buzzer noise) FUCK IT!

[Verse 2]
         Cm
The orgy ground to a halt and they took it outside
    Gm
The girls just went home, the mime probably died
D#
Brian ran at Arin while Barry started screaming
         Bb
Could we really have a future in a world without creaming?
    Cm
All hell broke loose with the insane war cry
     Gm                                         D#
Arin soared through the air. Apparently, he can fly
      D#m                              D#
Danny french-kissed a girl like he was king of Versailles
      Bb
Brian stabbed some random guy with a different guy
    Cm
The battle raged on 'til the city was wrecked
        Gm
But the two sides began to have mutual respect
     D#
"God damn," Arin yelled. "You must sure love to slam"
     Bb
"You don't even know," said Danny. "That shit is my jam"
  Cm
A union was formed between both rival camps
         Gm
And they both started rocking using NSP's amps
        D#
But the cease-fire ended and the battle resumed
     N.C
'Cuz Danny whipped out his nuts and the alliance was doomed

[Chorus 2]
G    D#      Gm
Samurai Abstinence Patrol
          F            Bb             D#
Now their tale will be passed down in sacred scrolls
                          Cm          Gm
They were voted "Most Douchey" in a recent poll
    F            C            D
Independently-conducted by Danny and Brian
       D#         Cm           Gm
Is the story over or has it just begun?
        F            Bb        D#
Has the battle for boning been lost or won?
                  F               Gm
The question is a deep and important one
          F                 C               D
Just like how in God's name do you spell "nomenclature?!"
G
   Here we go...
D#     C
  N... R                                 C5
(buzzer noise) This is literally fucking impossible!