The Higher Education Of Ole Blue

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[Verse]

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Well my daddy was a backwoods self-made type
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Never went to school, couldn't read nor write
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But made a fortune sellin' hogs, and was suspicious of education
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So when I told him I was goin' off to scool
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He said "well you listen to me you dumb cityfied fool
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So don't expect no help from me son, and no financial remineration"
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Now my dad was tight but he loved his dogs, that's true
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Yeah and his favorite of the pack was called Ole Blue

     C
So I called my dad when I got to college
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I said "Dad I know you don't think much of human knowledge
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But they got a course down here where they can teach dogs to speak, yeah
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Now I don't mean speak like bark for a bone
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Nah they say these dogs can carry on
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An intelligent conversation and some even go on to teach, yeah
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And when I heard of that course of course I thought of you
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And how great it'd be for you to sit and talk to Ole Blue"

          C
Well the line fell silent and I thought all was lost
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But he finally spoke up said "what's that cost?"
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I said "Dad it's a bargain at five thousand per semester"
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Well he didn't balk and he didn't complain
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'n Ole Blue showed up on the very next train
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And that's how my dad became the priority investor

[Chorus]

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In the higher education of Ole Blue
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A story that if it's not at all to be true
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About a fiscal windfall situation of my very own creation
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The inspiration that I call the education of Ole Blue

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And the money just kept on rollin' in, ha ha ha
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For 8 semesters, forty thousand dollars, woo!

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Well all too soon time to graduate
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The day had dawned I'd come to hate
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The day I had to go home and face my dad
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When I stepped off the train he said "where's Ole Blue?
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Phew! Phew! Phew! boy come here I wanna talk to you!
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And I swallowed hard and said Pop I've got some news and I'm 'fraid it's bad
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You see comin' home on the train Ole Blue was smokin' his pipe
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And readin' the New York Times
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When he took off his glasses, looked over and said
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'Boy are you aware of all your daddy's crimes?'

                      C
"Then he said 'he's a mass murderer just ask Denny Hog
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And he's treated my mama just like a dog
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And rubbed my nose in stuff you wouldn't believe, made me sleep on the hard cold ground
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But I can talk now and his days are through
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'Cause I'm gonna tell your mama a thing or two
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About his secret drinkin' habits, yeah and his affair with the Widow Brown'
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And when I heard Blue says those things Pop, somethin' snapped inside my brain
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So I grabbed him up and I strangled him and I throwed him off the train, yeah"

         C
Well my dad looked at me his eyes ablaze
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And his face contorted like somebody crazed
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And it didn't look like he'd believed a word I'd said
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Then he grabbed my coat, pulled me up real close
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Said "boy there's just one thing I wanna know
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Are you real sure that no-good lyin' fleabag is dead?", and that's

[Chorus]

    C            Am              C        G      C    F   G  C
The inspiration that I call the education of Ole Blue