The Trail To Oregon - Pays To Be An Animal

            D               A
When you're growing up as a youngun buck
        D/F#                A
And the daddy yak shows you how to cluck
           Bm                      G                    E      A
And you're taught one day that the clucking comes to an end. Whoa!


[Verse 2]

       D                  A
It's a glass half full of scotch approach
         D/F#          A
Like the mommy cub teaches her goats
       Bm                         G              E
If you live or you're shot in the head it all depends


[Chorus]

A            D                              A
Sometimes it pays to be an animal, sometimes don't
             Bm            G                 A
Sometimes it pays to be an animal, sometimes don't


[Post-chorus]

             E                          E7
And when you wake up with blood on your dick
        D          G             E7   A
And you don't even know where it came from
             D             A                D
Sometimes it pays to be an animal, sometimes don't


[Verse 3]

          D               A
There are stories told of man's fall from grace
    D/F#                  A
He rapes the land just so he can ate
    Bm              G                     E    A
But stories suck so fuck 'em right in the face


[Verse 4]

    D           A
And even if you put on weight
     D/F#              A
Just poop it out and refill your plate
          Bm                G             E   A
Cause the older you get the more you hibernate


[Chorus]

             D                              A
Sometimes it pays to be an animal, sometimes don't
             Bm            G                 A
Sometimes it pays to be an animal, sometimes don't


[Post-chorus]

             E                          E7
And when you wake up with blood on your dick
        D          G             E7   A
And you don't even know where it came from
             D             A                D
Sometimes it pays to be an animal, sometimes don't


(spoken)
Alright, now get 'em! Right over there! Shoot 'em - point blank range! Get 'em right there!


[Bridge]

      G        D/F#
Don't shoot us
      Em       D
Don't shoot us please!
      G        D/F#
Don't shoot us
      Em       D
Don't shoot us please!


(spoken)
Oh God, if you're up there - please let me miss! (BANG) Ughhghh!
Oh, no...Momma! Honey! Honey, no! Please God, noo! I'll kill you son of a bi-
N.C.(BANG AGAIN) Oh, papa! Oh no, I better get out of here -
(BANG AGAIN) Oh, papa! Oh no, I better get out of here -
If only I could get my shaky legs to run for the first time! Oops, I slipped.


[Verse 5]

    D                         A
Now listen brother, you don't wanna do this
       D/F#            A
I just lost my mom and dad for dick
     Bm                    G                 E       A
Deep down I know there's a heart inside that head. Whoa...


[Verse 6]

              D                   A
And if you're really that goddamn hungy
     D/F#                    A
Just eat my pawents right in fwont of me
         Bm               G                 E  A
And I'll raise my buffalo friends to seek revenge


[Chorus]

             D                              A
Sometimes it pays to be an animal, sometimes don't
             Bm            G                 A
Sometimes it pays to be an animal, sometimes don't


[Post-chorus]

             E                          E7
But when you wake up with blood on your dick
        D          G             E7   A
And you don't even know where it came from

N.C.
Just do it motherfuck-


[Chorus]

             D             A                 D
Sometimes it pays to be an animal, sometimes doooooon't
             D#                              A#
Sometimes it pays to be an animal, sometimes don't
             Cm            G#                A#
Sometimes it pays to be an animal, sometimes don't


[Post-chorus]

                 Fm
You wake up with blood on your dick
D#   G#
In a pool of your vomit
        Fm
Picking turds off your ass
D#         G#
Your whole breakfast is grass
        Fm
You got mud on your shoes
D#   G#
Holy hell they're fucking hooves
     Fm
Your hind legs are sore
D#          G#
Yeah that's right, you've got four
        Fm         D#       G#   A#
And you don't even know her damn name (Sing it, grandpa!)


(spoken)
Alright, good shooting there Craphole, looks like you got about 2000
Pounds there. Between the three of us, we can carry back about...20.
We'll leave the rest to rot out in the sun


[Outro]

             D#            A#
Sometimes it pays to be an animal
            D#
Sometimes...don't