The Last Bristolian Pirate

         C                        F      G      C
Well, I used to be a farmer and I made a living fine
  F            C               G
I had a little stretch of land along the western line
        C                                    F     G      C
But times were hard, and though I tried, the money wasn't there
    F                C                G                C
And bankers came and took my land and told me "Fair is Fair"
  Am                                D
I looked for every kind of job, the answer always "No",
Am                                      G
"Hire you now" they'd always laugh, "We just let twenty go!" (Haha)
    Am                             D
The government, they promised me a measley little sum,
    Am                                G
But I've got too much pride to end up just another bum! (bum)
       F                                             F  C
Then I thought who gives a damn if all the jobs are gone,
G
I'm gonna be a pirate, on the river Severn!


[Chorus]
                   C         C   F      G        C
And it's a Heave (HO) High (HO) comin' down the plains,
F                  C          G
Stealin' wheat and barley and all the other grains,
                 C         C     F       G       C
And it's a Ho (HEY!) High (HEY!) farmers bar yer doors,
         F             C              G            C
When you see the Jolly Roger on the Severn's mighty shores.

(Repeat the first half of the chorus without lyrics once, then play C for two measures.)
          C                             F         G      C
Well, you think the local farmers would know that I'm at large,
    F              C              G
But just the other day I found an unsuspecting barge,
  C                              F         G        C
I snuck up right behind them and they were none the wiser,
  F                   C             G              C
I rammed the ship and sank it and I stole the fertilizer
  Am                          D
A bridge outside of Redwick spans the mighty river,
Am                                  G
Farmers cross in so much fear their stomachs are aquiver,
Am                                    D
'Cause they know that Tractor Jack is hiding in the bay,
     Am                                     G
I'll jump the bridge and knock 'em cold and sail off with their hay!


[Chorus]
                   C         C   F      G        C
And it's a Heave (HO) High (HO) comin' down the plains,
F                  C          G
Stealin' wheat and barley and all the other grains,
                C            C     F       G       C
And it's a Ho (HEY!) High (HEY!) farmers bar yer doors,
         F             C               G            C
When you see the Jolly Roger on the Severn's mighty shores.
      C                                F      G     C
Well, officer Robbie chased me, he was always at my throat,
   F               C                    G
He followed on the shorelines 'cause he didn't own a boat,
    C                               F       G        C
But cut-backs were a comin' and the Copper lost his job,
   F                C              G               C
So now he's sailin' with me and we call him Salty Rob!
  Am                                     D
A swingin' sword and skull and bones are pleasant company,
  Am                          G
I never pay my income tax and screw the VAT (SCD W IT!)
Am                            D
Salin' down to Thornbury, the Terror of the Sea,
       Am                            G
If you wanna get to Tesco boys, you gotta get by me!


[Chorus]
                   C          C   F      G        C
And it's a Heave (HO) High (HO) comin' down the plains,
F                  C          G
Stealin' wheat and barley and all the other grains,
                 C           C     F       G       C
And it's a Ho (HEY!) High (HEY!) farmers bar yer doors,
         F             C             G            C
When you see the Jolly Roger on the Severn's mighty shores.

     C                               F          G       C
Well pirate life's appealing but you don't just find it here,
  F                 C                  G
I hear that up in Yorkshire there's a band of buccaneers,
     C                           F        G    C
They roam the Yorkshire dales from Smith to Beverly,
           F                 C              G                  C
And you're gonna lose your flat cap if you have to pass their way.
      Am                       D
Well, winter is a comin' and a chill is in the breeze,
   Am                            G
My pirate days are over once the river starts to freeze,
    Am                             D
But I'll be back in springtime but now I've got to fly,
  Am                                         G
I hear there's lots of plundering down in the Isle of Wight!


[Chorus]
                   C         C   F      G        C
And it's a Heave (HO) High (HO) comin' down the plains,
F                  C          G
Stealin' wheat and barley and all the other grains,
                 C           C     F       G       C
And it's a Ho (HEY!) High (HEY!) farmers bar yer doors,
         F             C               G            C
When you see the Jolly Roger on the Severn's mighty shores.
                   C         C   F      G        C
And it's a Heave (HO) High (HO) comin' down the plains,
F                  C          G
Stealin' wheat and barley and all the other grains,
                 C           C     F       G       C
And it's a Ho (HEY!) High (HEY!) farmers bar yer doors,
         F             C               G            C
When you see the Jolly Roger... on the Severn's mighty shores.