50 Ways To Please Your Mother

Em          D                Cmaj7    B7
The problem is all in your approach I said to them
Em           D7           B7
You are my children and I want to fill you in
Em         D               Cmaj7        B7
You wonder why your mother grounded you again
           Em Am7             Em
There must be fifty ways to please your mother.


[Verse 2]
Em          D               Cmaj7         B7
Keep up the laundry now and put away your food
Em       D7              B7
Wouldn’t hurt you if you lose the attitude
Em               D6            Cmaj7      B7
Say, “Yes, maam, no maam”, her name isn’t dude
           Em Am7             Em
There must be fifty ways to please your mother.
Em    Am7            Em
Fifty ways to please your mother.


[Verse 3]
           G                         Bb
Don’t talk back, Jack, clean out the van, Stan
             C                  G
Put away the dish, Trish, don’t play in the street
       G                            Bb
Don’t miss the bus, Gus, try not to cuss, Russ
             C                         G
Wipe off the seat, Pete, and life will be sweet.


[Verse 4]
             G                     Bb
Pick up your mess, Tess, close the screen, Jean
                C                  G
Don’t get her annoyed, Lloyd, turn down the TV
             G                         Bb
Pick up your phone, Joan, let her know when you’re gonna be home
                C               G
Don’t roll your eyes, guys, and see what I mean.


[Verse 5]
Em          D                    Cmaj7      B7
You know it grieves me, kids, to see you in such pain
Em             D7              B7
I’ve known her many years now, so just let me explain
Em            D                          Cmaj7          B7
Sometimes you talk and act like you were born without a brain
          Em        Am7
There must be fifty ways.


[Verse 6]
Em          D             Cmaj7             B7
I found a system that can give you a better life
Em             D7              B7
You can live in harmony and put away the strife
Em            D6                       Cmaj7                B7
You know I learned the hard way, things you don’t say to my wife
           Em Am7             Em
There must be fifty ways to please your mother.
Em    Am7            Em
Fifty ways to please your mother.


[Verse 7]
         G                 Bb
Go get a job, Bob, mow the lawn, Sean
                  C                 G
Don’t burp in her face, Chase, just listen to me
           G                              Bb
Cover your sneeze, please, don’t use your sleeve, Steve
                C                                G
Use your inside voice, Joyce, and you’ll be home free.


[Verse 8]
           G                         Bb
Don’t talk back, Jack, clean out the van, Stan
             C                 G
Pull up your pants, Chance, go play in the street
               G                    Bb
Don’t miss the bus, Gus, try not to cuss so much, Russ
             C                            G
Wipe off the seat, Pete, and life will be sweet.