If You Open Your Mind Too Much Your Brain Will Fall Out

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[Verse]
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If anyone can show me one example in the history of the world of a single
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Psychic who has been able to prove under reasonable experimental conditions that they are able
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 to read minds

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And if anyone can show me one example in the history of the world of a single
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astrologer who has been able to prove under reasonable experimental conditions that they can 
predict future
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human events by interpreting celestial signs

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And if anyone can show me one example in the history of the world of a single
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homeopathic practitioner who has been able to prove under reasonable experimental conditions 
that solutions
made up of infinitely tiny particles of good stuff dissolved repeatedly into relatively huge 
quantities of
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water have a consistently higher medicinal value than a similarly administered placebo

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And if anyone can show me one example in the history of the world of a single
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spiritual person who has been able to show either empirically or logically the existence of a 
higher power
with any consciousness or interest in the human race or ability to punish or reward humans for 
their moral
choices or that there is any reason - other than fear - to believe in any version of an 
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afterlife


[Outro]
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I will give you my piano
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One of my legs
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   and my  wife