Woody Allen Jesus

  A
Jesus was a Jewish philosopher
E
Had a lot of nice ideas
F#m
About our existential fears
A/C#
Much admired by his peers
 D                              E       F#m     C#m
Short and Jewish and quite political
 D                           E          F#m      E
Often hesitant and very analytical
   A     D       E  A
Praise be to Jesus
    A    D         E                 F#m
Praise be to Woody Allen Jesus
C#m      D      E  A    E
Woody Allen Jesus!

A
Jesus was a great entertainer
 E
Doing cool tricks all of the time
 F#m
Turning water into wine
A/C#
Making stormy weather fine
  D                   E                F#m   C#m
Even now his stunts confound us
D                        E                F#m    E
Kinda did what Darren Brown does
 A        D       E  A
Praise be to Jesus
  A       D        E                          F#m
Praise be to magic Woody Allen Jesus
  C#m     D              E  A    F
Magic Woody Allen Jesus!

 Bb
Jesus died but then came back to life
 Eb                F
So the Holy Bible said
 Gm
Kinda like in Dawn of the Dead
 Bb/D
Like a film by Simon Pegg
  Eb                         F                Gm     Dm
Try that these days, you'd be in trouble
  Eb                        F                       Gm   F
Geeks would try to smack you with a shovel

  Bb    Eb     F  Bb
Praise be to Jesus
 Bb     Eb     F
Praise be to Magic Woody Allen Zombie
    Gm
 Jesus
 Dm       Eb               F           Bb    F
Magic Woody Allen Zombie Jesus!

 Bb
Jesus ascended into Heaven
 F
He was an incredible guy
 Dm
You don't often find fellas that fly
                               Eb
Disappear right into the sky
 Eb                         F             Gm    Dm
And only once did he use this ability
       Eb                          F                Gm    F
With great power comes great responsibility
 Bb    Eb      F  Bb
Praise be to Jesus
  Bb    Eb       F
Praise be to Magic Woody Allen Zombie
                    Gm
Superman Jesus
    G   G/B
Jesus!

C
Jesus' mother gave birth to him
 G
Without having sex with a dude
  Am
No, she would never be that rude
 Em
Never even be nude with a dude
   F                            G                 Am   Em
Breeding without the opposite gender is
   F                           G              Am    Em
Commonly known as parthenogenesis
  F
Other animals that don't need males
  F/G
Include a lot of lizards and various snails
 C       F        G  C
Praise be to Jesus
  C      F          G
Praise be to Magic Woody Allen Zombie
                                            Am
Superman Komodo Dragon Jesus
F G
Jesus!


 Am
Jesus can communicate with the deceased
Am/G
Like Psychic Sally
 Fmaj7
Jesus lives forever, which is pretty odd
  G
But not as odd as his fetish for drinking blood
 Bbm
Jesus is in more than one place at a time
 Bbm/G#
Like an electron or Schrodinger's feline
F#maj7
Jesus pulled off that water walking miracle
 Bbm/G#
He was as handy as an amphibious vehicle
 Bbm                        Bbm/G#          F#maj7
Jesus had bare feet, long hair, and a beard
Bbm/F
But I'm not saying it's me

F#maj7                     G#6
I'm not saying that I am Jesus
F#maj7                     G#6
I'm not saying that I am Jesus
A
I am Jesus!

D         G       A  D
Praise be to Jesus
D         G         A                  Bm
Praise be to Woody Allen Jesus
F#m              G  A
Woody Allen Jesus!
D        G         A
Praise be to Magic Woody Allen Zombie Superman Komodo Dragon
Telepathic Vampire Quantum Hovercraft ‘Me’
 D
Jesus!