Garth Brooks Ruined My Life

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What?s the big deal about Garth Brooks
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What?s he got that I ain?t got
Except the biggest country album in history
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And girls screamin? in the parkin? lot
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My wife thinks Garth Brooks hung the moon
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Yeah she thinks Garth?s number one
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And there?s even husbands jealous at Garth Brooks over in Ireland.

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I look better in a hat than he does
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And I got a lot more hair
I missed The Dance, Still Felt the Pain
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And I?ve never had an Answered Pray
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I wrote a hundred songs about rodeos
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But my wife wouldn?t listen to mine
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Now I?m singin? to Friends in a place so Low
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Garth Brooks couldn?t even find.

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Garth Brooks you better hope we never meet
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Or one of us is gonna get hurt
Yeah you?ll let go of that Longneck Bottle
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If I choke you with a Garth Brooks T-shirt
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She has taken down our weddin? pictures
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And put a poster of you
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And if you name comes up again when she?s sleepin?
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There?s no tellin? what I?ll do.

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Yeah we went though this a few years ago
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When she was dreamin? about George Strait
But now the name Garth Brooks are two words
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I have grown to hate
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Brother you look like a cowboy airport controller
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With that ugly little microphone
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Why don?t you quite tryin? to turn my wife away
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And leave my life alone.

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I sick of, Garth Brooks
        stop
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I?m tired of hearin? about, Garth Brooks
        stop
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I think I?ve had enough, Garth Brooks
        stop
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My wife is in love with, Garth Brooks
        stop
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She wants to be Mrs., Garth Brooks
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I hope his records sells like, Garth Brooks