Genius In France

G           Am        Bb     Am        G
I'm not the brightest crayon in the box

G        Am       Bb            Am         G
Everyone says I'm dumber than a bag of rocks


C              Bb          C
 I barely even know how to put on my own pants

          F         G              C         D       Bb        G
But I'm a genius in France (yeah), genius in France, genius in France


Hoom chaka laka
Hoom chaka laka
Hoom chaka

G         Am     Bb       Am            G
I may not be the sharpest hunk of cheese

G       Am       Bb     Am        G
I got a negative number on my SATs


C            Bb            C
I'm not good looking and I don't know how to dance


But nevertheless and in spite of the evidence I am still widely
considered to be

   F        G         C         D        Bb        G9
A genius in France, a genius in France, a genius in France

(enter your own sound effects)

Dm     G         F       G              F
People say I'm a geek, a moronic little freak

   G                                         G6
An annoying pipsqueak with an unfortunate physique

   G         F       G(one hit)                      C7
If I was any dumber, they'd have to water me twice a week


             F             G            C             D
But when the Mademoiselles see me, they all swoon and shriek

     F        G                    C     D
They dig my mystique, they say I'm c'est magnifique

     F      G               C        C/B    C/Bb  C
When I'm in Par-ee, I'm the chic-est of the chic


             F    G           C   D
They love my body odor and my bad toupee

             F       G            C      D
They love my stripey shirt and my stupid beret

             G            C   D
And when I'm sipping on a Perrier

G                    C      D
In some cafe town in St. Tropez

G                     C       D
It's hard to keep the fans at bay

           G       Bb  G   Bb   G    C7
They say, "Sign my poodle, s'il vous plait"

G        Bb  G   Bb   G    C7
"Sign my poodle, s'il vous plait"

Hemenene humenene
himenene homenene

Bb  G     Bb  G
Poodle... poodle...

C  Bb      Gm  G7

(play a single G note)
Folks in my hometown think I'm a fool
Got too much chlorine in my gene pool

  G        Am         Bb   C
A few peas short of a casserole

  G           Am         Bb   C       D
A few buttons missing on my remote control

  G         Am         Bb    C
A few fries short of a happy meal

  G             Am    Bb       C           Dm         F      G
I couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel


C                  Db  D
Instructions on the heel

   C    Bb    G  F   G
Instructions on the heel


         C      Bb              C    Bb
But when I'm in Provence, I get free croissants

      C       Bb        C           Bb
Yeah, I'm the guy every French lady wants

           F                            C          G
And if you ask 'em why, you're bound to get this response

        F      F# G       F      F# G
(He's a genius in France! Genius in France!) That's right!

        F      F# G       F      F# G
(He's a genius in France, genius in France) You know it!

        F      F# G       C      Db D       C  Bb  G  G6
(He's a genius in France, genius in France, genius in France)


G           Am        Bb          Am            G
I'm not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree

G        Am      Bb                 Am        G
But the folks in France, they don't seem to agree

           C             Bb            C
They say, "Bonjour, Monsieur would you take ze picture with me?"


        F    G
I say, "Oui, oui"

                      F    G
That's right, I say, "Oui, oui"

F     G
"Oui, oui"

          F    G
He says, "Oui, oui"


C
I'm dumber than a box of hair
But those Frenchies don't seem to care

C          F        G
Don't know why, mon frere

         Eb      F
But they love me there

      Bb        C
I'm a genius in France

            Bb        C
Yeah, I'm a genius in France


F                Eb                       F        Eb
Gonna make a big splash when I show up in Cannes

G                F
Gonna make those Frenchies scream

        G
"You ze man! You ze man! You ze man!"


                   C7#9                                   C7#9
Like a fine Renoir (waa), I've got that je me c'est quoi (quoi!)

                    C7#9
Like a fine Renoir (ooh la la), I've got that je me c'est ...

C                         Dm
Quoi quoi quoi quoi quoi, oo-we-oo

C                         Dm
Quoi quoi quoi quoi quoi, oo-we-oo

G (single hit)
Bow diddy bow di bow di bow bow diddy
Bow diddy bow di bow di bow bow diddy
Bow


[snort]

      C               D
I'm a taco short of a combo plate

       F                           G
But by some twist of fate, all the Frogs think I'm great

        E                     F#
Oh, the men all faint and the women scream

     A                 B
They like me more than heavy cream

         Ab                   Bb
When I'm in Versailles, I'm a popular guy

      Db                   Eb
My oh my, I'm as French as apple pie (apple pie)


               Ab      F#       Ab         F#
They think I'm awfully witty, a riot and a half

       Ab                  F#   Db
When I tell a stupid joke, they laugh (haw haw haw haw haw)

Db  B
And laugh (haw haw haw haw haw haw)


Fm        Eb                  Eb   Db
People in France have lots of attitude

Fm                 Eb                 Eb      Db
They're snotty and rude, they like disgusting food

Fm                Eb
But when they see me, they just come unglued

                                        Bb7
They think that I am one happening dude


D
Bowm ba ba bowm ba bowm ba bowm

    F        G          C       D
I'm about as sharp as a bowling ball

         F       G           C          D
But they like me better than Charles de Gaulle


G     Bb         C    D
Entre nous, it's very true

         G      Bb            C       D
The room temperature's higher than my IQ

         G       Bb        C           D
But they love me more than Gerard Depardieu

Eb           D
How did this happen?

(I don't have a clue)


     G(#9) (one hit)                           Bb – G  Bb - G
Well, I'm not the quickest tractor on the farm

G(#9) (one hit)                                Bb C
I don't have any skills or grace or charm

C               Bb                  C
And most people look at me like I'm all covered with ants

          F      F# G              C      Db D       C  Bb  G  G6
But I'm a genius in France (yeah), genius in France, genius in France


        C     F     G         C     F     G
And I'm never goin' back, I'm never goin' back


    C                       F                G
I'm never never never never goin' back home again

    C               F           G
I'm tearin' up my return flight ticket

      C                   F                   G
Gonna tell the folks back home where they can stick it

           C     F     G
'Cause I'm never goin' back

    C     F     G
I'm never goin' back

    C     F     A
I'm never goin' back


D              C                    D      C
The girls back home never gave me a chance

      D                   C                   D      C
But I sho' 'nuff got them Frogs in some kinda trance

        D                 C              Bb7
And I'm aware that it's a most improbable circumstance

                             A7 (one hit)
But "Great Googily Moogily",

                   Dm    C  Bb  A  G  F  E  A
I'm a genius in France


D     C        D      C
Every Frenchie that I meet

D          C       D       C
Just can't wait to kiss my feet

D      F            G        A
Get in line, pucker up! Tout Suite!


(play a single A note)
Bowm diddy bowm diddy bowm diddy


            D         C      D      C
I'm gettin' even more famous by the hour

    D            C            D          C
I'm stuffed with pastries and drunk with power

            D             F             G      A
Now they're puttin' up my statue by the Eiffel Tower

Dm  F  G  Bb7

  A                  Dm            A                  Dm
A little more to the left, boys, a little more to the left

  A                  Dm            A           G  F   Dm
A little more to the left, boys, a little more to the left

C Dm

C Dm

A Dm  C  Bm  Bb

Dm/A  G  Dm/F  A/E  A  D


G       Am      Bb         Am   G
I'm the biggest dork there is alive

   G          Am     Bb          Am  G
My mom picked out my clothes for me 'till I was 35

    C           Bb
And I forgot to mention

    C
I'm not even welcome at the Star Trek convention


        F         G
But the Frenchies think

        C          D
That my poop don't stink

      C         Eb7
I'm a genius in France


(play a singly G note rapidly)
Say, would you pass the Grey Poupon?
Merci beaucoup