I Want A New Duck

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[Verse 1]
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I want a new duck,   one that won't try to bite,
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  One that won't chew a hole in my socks,   one that won't quack all night.
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I want a new duck,   one with big webbed feet,
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  One that knows how to wash my car   and keep his room   real   neat.
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One that won't raid the ice box, one that'll stay in shape,
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One that's never gonna try to migrate or escape,
         N.C.
Or I'll tie him up with duck tape.

[Interlude]
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[Verse 2]
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I want a new duck,   a mallard I   think,
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  One that won't make a mess of my house   or build a nest in the bathroom   sink.
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I want a new duck,   one that won't steal my beer,
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  One that won't stick his bill in my mail,   one that knows the duck stops   here.
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One that won't drive me crazy waddling all around,
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One who'll teach me how to swim and help me not to drown,
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And show me how     to get   down,     how to get   down, baby.     Get it?

[Chorus]
A               G             D        A G D
  Quack, quack, quack, quack,   quack,
A               G             D
  Quack, quack, quack, quack,   quack,
A                      G               D
  Quack, quack, quack,   quack, quack,   quack, quack,
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          Quack, quack,   quack, quack,
A G D A                      G             D
        Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack.

[Verse 3]
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I want a new duck,   not a swan or a goose,
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  Just a drake I can dress real cute,   think I'm gonna name him Bruce.
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I want a new duck,   not a quail or an owl,
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  One that won't molt too much,   one that won't smell too   fowl.
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One that won't beg for breadcrumbs, hangin' around all day,
     C               F               C              D
He'd better mind his manners, better do just what I say,
        N.C.     A G D      A   G D      A   G      D      A G D
Or he's gonna be     duck pâté,   duck pâté,   yah,   yah.

[Chorus]
A               G             D        A G D
  Quack, quack, quack, quack,   quack,
A               G             D
  Quack, quack, quack, quack,   quack,
A                      G               D
  Quack, quack, quack,   quack, quack,   quack, quack,
A G D A G               D
          Quack, quack,   quack, quack,
A G D A                      G             D
        Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack.