Well, I hear that there’s a party tonight
And I probably won’t go but thanks for the invite
‘Cause I’d rather stay home and drink gallons of wine
And that must be why nobody stops by

Well, I get so angry when I go out
They think I say too much and I should just calm down
You can’t take me anywhere, so you hide me out
And you ask why I think you never loved me now

Why can’t I be more like them?
The kind of people who go out of their way to make new friends
Because I don’t give a good goddamn about you and I making amends
Oh honey, why can’t I be more like them?

You don’t believe me when I say I want to be alone
You think there’s someone here when I don’t pick up the phone
And now you can’t believe I won’t talk, honey, oh no
Well, you’ll get used to it, it’s going to be a hell of a ride, though

So why can’t I be more like them?
The kind of people who feel sad when relationships end
Well, honey, I don’t want you now but it’s not about him
Oh honey, why can’t I be more like them?
Why can’t I be more like them?

Because they get away with shit I never will
You think that I do these things to them just to be cruel?
‘Cause it’s always got to be about wanting another man
Oh, but she just needs some space, why can’t I be like that?
You just need to get laid, why can’t I be like that?

Because I gave you everything I had
All my cheapest beer and cigarettes
And now you want your money back
Well, I'm sorry baby, but I still don’t have it

Why can’t I be more like them?
The kind of people who can still manage to get upset
Well, if you think that I'm so fucking emotionally dense
It’s ‘cause I am
But why can’t you be more like that?
Why can’t I be more like them?